As the story of Joe Biden’s open-mic cursing moves into, amazingly, its third day of being in the news cycle, we’re reminded that not all F-bombs are created equal. In what seems to pass for trenchant political debate in this country, those who are agin’ Biden have seized upon his exclamatory by suggesting that he should be assailed in much the same way that his predecessor, Dick Cheney, was criticized for using the invective on the floor of the Senate. To those folks, a simple question: Would you rather be told to go F yourself or that you’re a great F’ing person?

(It’s entirely fair to question Mr. Biden’s judgment. It’s a hot mic. You’re two feet away. Show some restraint, eh?)

Now, fair warning: We’re going to actually employ the word in question in the next little bit. If that will upset you, go here for some wholesome fun.

Seriously, we’re going to use the word.

I’m not lying.

Go elsewhere if this will be a problem.

Are you gone?

Are you still with us?

Here we go.

This excellent video outlines the various applications of the F-bomb. A speaker who wisely chooses his/her words and knows their various parts of speech is much better prepared for the rigors of oratory.

On that note, a friend of mine once showed me a grammar test that included the following exercise:

Identify the parts of speech in the following sentence: That fucking fucker is fucking fucked — fuck him!

(For the record, relative pronoun, adjective, noun, verb, adverb, predicate adjective, interjection)

As for the expletive crisis that has gripped our country, I’d propose a cooling-off period. Why don’t we all chill the fuck out and turn our attention to more pressing issues?

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